Three’s company? Bull, that kite will not fly for me. I think more than one is a crowd. But I realise that for most (normal?) people this is not what they have in mind when planning a trip (holiday/camping). Being a one/ two-person tripper, I think I can be quite selective if I must do that crowd-camping thing. If, in the process, I am stepping on some people’s bunions, some who have been on a trip with me, that is not the intention. Obviously each one of us has his own preferences as far as company is concerned. So if you have worked this one out, you can ignore most of the finer detail and concentrate on the bigger picture (crowd!).

Going alone (lone ranger) might for a lot of people sound like not the real McCoy. One can get a bit lonely. Depending on your state of mind at the time of doing the one man show, you should consider this option incredibly carefully. The other side of the coin is, as Danie said when he started doing the alone thing, that he began talking to himself and realised how interesting a guy he is.

I realise I should be very careful with the next option. Being married for over 30 years I might be pushing it when mentioning the wrong options and choices as far as selection is concerned. My brother gave me some advice way back (more than 30 years ago): If you want to marry your girlfriend, take her on a camping trip. I must confess he was much cleverer than I have ever been, but I am good with taking good advice. I can show the evidence (Helga). Suffice to say, the advice given by Ferdie is indispensable for anyone. The problem with it is that you might end up without a loved one for being too greedy and selective, or not having enough money to go on camping trips. If you want to do the two-thing and are not interested in a different sex partner, I am at a loss as far as advice is concerned. I suppose the hunters can be more helpful with this choice.

There is a wonderful story about a guy who advertised in the newspaper that he needed a hunting partner, the only prerequisites were that he must be a good cook, a good hunter, and an avid storyteller. His first caller was a guy that stuttered who said he could not cook and did not have a gun, but he just wanted to let him know that he would not be able to go with him. Some people might think it was me.

Maybe the crowd option is the one that should be planned very meticulously. Option one is family; needless to say that as a rule you know your family, so the choices are relatively obvious and easy to make. Taking Ferdie’s advice a bit further, this is a good opportunity to take your daughter/son’s lover with you – it might help them to sort out each other’s shortcomings with the benefit of parental guidance. Maybe you are lucky enough not to have any family members who like camping, which will sort out that problem.

Friends, yes, they always sound like the ideal partners in crime for your next camping trip. This is also the one choice that can make or break your holiday, or friendship. Remember, if you are not that lucky to have lots of holidays and money, this choice is probably more important than you might have thought. Keep in mind, they will be with you the next day and the next. That’s the reason I have so many friends, I do not take them with me when on holiday.

The following should be on your tick list when you make your final choice. Do you want to drink more than one bottle of brandy each night. Do you want to eat tinned beef for every meal, do you want to keep your friend and his wife apart to prevent a murder (what will you do with the body)? Or consider complaining about your choice as far as music is concerned.

Worst scenario, does your friend’s wife want to do her hair and face camouflage twice a day?

On the other hand, do you want the president of AA for company, complaining about your drinking problem? Maybe your company prefers a four-course meal twice a day or, even worse, does not wash for four weeks. In the end, you must realise that such a trip might end your friendship forever.

The Burger option is wanting to sit for hours watching birds and taking pictures of yet another one, or waiting for Helga to take the ultimate picture of yet another exquisite flower or tree. Getting up before sunrise to get good, filtered coffee, or staying out on the road till well after sunset. Even worse, doing the off-road thing in an area which everyone (except Pompie) knows is off limits. That is not a good idea. Removing plants or bulbs for research or our garden, or do some pruning to get a better view, or a little bit closer to the object that needs to be filmed. You might even end up getting stuck in the sand/mud or being handcuffed and having bed and breakfast in the local jail, where there are no drinks, no 4-course meals, but where at least you will be able to take a shower twice a day. TNN